Three Simple Tips for Navigating Conflict from an Experienced Mediator

Three Simple Tips for Navigating Conflict from an Experienced Mediator

As a credentialed and experienced mediator, I’ve seen my fair share of conflict — and let me tell you, it’s never easy. One of the biggest challenges people face is figuring out which conflict resolution model to follow. The truth is, it’s less about following a rigid formula and more about building your own process, one step at a time.

To help you get started, here are three bite-sized tips for navigating conflict. The best part? You don’t have to follow them in any particular order — just begin where you can.

1. Stop Evaluative Listening

Too often, we size people up while they’re talking — thinking about their title, appearance, or past behavior — instead of actually hearing them. When you evaluate someone instead of listening, you risk missing key information that could help you resolve the issue. Catch yourself when you’re doing this and refocus on what’s being said.

2. Reflect During and After the Conflict

Reflection is a powerful tool, both in the moment and after the fact. Ask yourself questions like:

• Did this person trigger me?

• Do I need to step away and cool off?

• How would someone else describe how I’m handling myself right now?

This self-awareness helps you stay grounded and intentional.

3. Focus on Your Desired Outcome

Before emotions take over, get clear on what you actually want from this conflict. When you know your goal — whether it’s a compromise, clarity, or simply being heard — it becomes easier to regulate your emotions and guide the conversation in the right direction. This is emotional labor, and like any muscle, it gets stronger the more you practice.

Final Thought

Conflict doesn’t have to overwhelm you. Take it one step at a time, build your conflict navigation skills, and you’ll find that managing difficult conversations gets easier with practice.

Your Mediator Moment of Insight